While I was sleeping...

My friend Stef (hi Stef!) pointed out that I have not blogged a single thing in a looonnnnggggg time.

 

It’s not for lack of interest, I swear. To be honest guys, I’m just lazy. Plus I am no longer allowed to blog on my work computer and that was kind of the only time I dedicated to blogging.

 

Anyway, let’s move on from that and I pretend that I haven’t abandoned you completely…

 

What have I been up to lately?

 

·         Lots of snuggling and cuteness (and a minor fight) with the GF

·         FREAKING LOSING MY MIND OVER SCANDAL

·         Crying a lot over Parenthood

·         Shouting at the TV every time I watch Sons of Anarchy

·         Hating that I can’t seem to let Grey’s Anatomy go

·         Noticing how much my life revolves around TV just now…

·         Becoming addicted to Bad Girls Club Miami (watch it, just do it)

·         Paying off my debts little by little

·         Not going to the gym

·         Not dieting

·         Eating a fuckton of yummy food

·         Still not having to buy bigger pants (WOO!)

·         Learning to love my jiggles

·         Not wearing make up to work (read: I am too lazy at 7 AM)

·         Not writing a damn thing…which is odd…

Let’s expand on that last one…

I haven’t written anything in a really long time you guys. Not a chapter of a book I’ll never finish. Not a sappy poem. Not even a freaking grocery list. Who am I?? I don’t think that I’ve lost my mojo I am just not honestly feeling it lately. I haven’t had any idea worth pursuing in a while. This needs to stop. I write. It’s just what I do. I have no other real talent (besides making super yummy and super bad for you food). I think I really need to get back to my blogging groove…

7.6 Miles and 3 Iguanas

This Saturday my GF had the great idea of walking from her house to the beach...

3.8 miles there and 3.8 miles back.

In case I've ever given anyone the impression that I'm an active/athletic/fit person, I'm not. Like weekly Zumba classes kick my ass...

But, the GF is pretty and I'm a sucker for cute smiles. We walked.

Are you ready to be shocked? 

It wasn't horrible. Don't get me wrong, we live in Miami, it was hotter than the devil's closet (is that a thing? I'm making it a thing) and the air was humid and just really hard to breathe. (read: I'm out of shape and it was hard to breathe) We did have a great time though. We laughed a lot and we had bacon jerky as a snack. It was so good. It was probably the tastiest thing ever. Exercise makes my taste buds have really low standards apparently. 

My only complaint would have to be the wild life.

I am scared of frogs and lizards. This is not a secret to anyone. Iguanas however, are a whole new ball game. They are the spawns of Satan. They look prehistoric and pretty much turn me into a high pitch screaming/whining mess. I don't wish any harm to come to them and I do understand the role they play in the ecosystem. I am well aware that it is not their fault they look that way or that I'm scared of them. Ok, now that Peta doesn't hate me anymore...there were 3 of the ugliest iguanas I have ever seen in my life out and about during our little adventure. The first two were safely tucked away behind the fence of a golf course so it honestly wasn't that bad. We crossed the street and I did some Lamaze breathing and we were on our way. The third iguana, God help me I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth when I saw it. Was it behind a safe fence? Nope. Could I cross the street to escape? Not a fucking chance (6 lane bridge thing). Was it horrible looking? YES. I made the GF stomp around while she laughed at me in order to scare it back into the bushes because it was literally like a foot away from the sidewalk that we were on and omg gag. After the little beast scurried back to the underworld the bush where all the other iguanas were probably hanging out, I walked fast and tense past the area (which was also the up part for the bridge because fuck you Nat, that's why) and the GF tried to hide her laughter. Mind you, this was on the way back to her house and I was hot and in pain and scared and yea, we got in a mini fight...and then two more mini fights, completely unrelated to iguanas. 

But, we made it! 

We lived!

We dined on Chik-fil-A and it was so delicious I almost cried!

When we made it back to he house after dinner we were both super sore and super swore that we would never do that again...

 We're going again next weekend because she's pretty and I have no willpower.

Fun Fact Friday

Also known as, I couldn't come up with anything better to say today...

 1. I overuse the words; like, totally, and super. Like, a lot. I may or may not have used a sentence that started with "It was totally like super ______ ." It's awful. I know.

2. I say my favorite color is blue, but secretly, it' pink. Ok, maybe not so secretly because my blog is pink but yea... It just doesn't sound very grown up when you say pink. So, it's blue guys. My favorite color is pink blue.

3. I am addicted to Sharpies. Preferably the ultra fine tip ones. I write almost everything I can using multi colored Sharpies. YAYYY Sharpies!

4. I really hate saying/writing "Needless to say" or "It goes without saying". I mean, I still use them but they annoy me to no end.

5. Today I smiled at my neighbor's dog. I did not smile at my neighbor.

 

Because we all need a little laugh in the morning...

Thanks Lulu for finding this last night and making my drive home super hilarious!

Click it. Read it. Laugh your ass off. Repeat. 

Our Eggs Are Dying

Let's enter a judgment free zone...

 In this zone I will confess something super weird about myself and you all will just accept it and maybe laugh a little and totally not judge me at all.

So, um, okay. My biological clock may need to be reset or rebooted or autotuned...wait, that's not right...I'm not good with techy stuff but the point is that its fucked up. What do I mean when I say this? Glad you asked. My uterus has been screaming at me to impregnate it for like, a while now. I am well aware that it probably has a lot to do with this but even still, it's suuuuuper annoying.

The problem is that I have accomplished like ZERO of the things on my Knocked Up Bucket List...

(I'm really into bullet point posts these days)

• I have not been to Venice. Can you even take babies to Venice? Wouldn't it be super hard getting in and out of gondolas with a stroller? And those things do not have a trunk for you to store all the crap things essential to a baby's survival.
• I have not gotten neither my B.A. nor my M.B.A. and I'm pretty sure babies are a major like full time commitment that I do not wish to undertake that whilst working a full time job and getting some kind of degree in something or the other.
• I am still not even a full grown up. I don't know why I pay taxes. I don't understand Social Security. I don't know how mortgages and property taxes work because it still seems like paying rent just way more expensive and to banks instead of a nosy Cuban old lady. How am I expected to raise a good law abiding tax paying citizen when I'm not even entirely positive whether I am one or not?

Ok so, yes there are teen moms all over the country popping babies out of their schmaginas like those tennis ball machine things and they haven't done any of those things either.

Probably.

Kids are like major over achievers these days.

Well, maybe not the pregnant ones...

What was I saying?

OH! Okay, yea I am super unprepared to bring life into this world. Also, it involves like a fairly close interaction with sperm and I am currently not on speaking terms with any of that. I don't drive a car that is safe for anyone a baby. I don't even own a bed. AND, I can't even remember to take care of my Sims some times...or the little people of my Virtual Families 2 family...or my cat. Fuck, did I feed the cat today? I did. I totally did...I hope.

With all of this in mind, I ask...what the fudge uterus?! Put down that Babies R' Us catalog and go feed the cat dude. Get with the program because babies are still like 3ish years away man. 

Yes my uterus is a guy, because only a dude would cause cramps like that and totally try to play it off as a good thing talking shit like "oh that's how we give life and populate the earth" and whatever, you suck. Asshole. No babies...yet. 

Today is not the day

My creativity sucks today. My writing sucks today. And my thighs are really sore because I did Zumba yesterday...

Please enjoy these super cute Key West Birthday Trip pics...

Yes, I took a disposable camera. Film is not dead yet people! (although, it did take like 2 weeks to get them back so never doing that again)

Fall Lineup 2013!!

**Post contains spoilers**
 

Praise the TV Lord!!

Fall prime time shows are back people, and my DVR and I could not be more excited. I don't wanna beat around the bush or talk too much crap so let's get down to it...

How I Met Your Mother- Ok, am I the only one that is starting to get a little annoyed at Ted? Actually, at all of the characters. I'm pretty sure NPH is the only reason this is still on my recording rotation. Well that, and the fact that I overly commit to shows and feel the need to see them through the good and the bad. Now that I got that out of my system, I will say that I am totally loving "The Mother" character so maybe not all hope is lost.

The Middle- Still as funny as ever. I am obsessed with Frankie and the season opener was super cute. The whole mom taking the kid to college thing totally tugged at all my heartstrings. Sue is still driving me insane and I really hope that while Axl is technically at college, he will still make a fair amount of appearances. Mike and Brick are perfection. 

Modern Family- Holy Beyonce people! I was so so so into this episode. Although, I kinda wanted to slap Claire a little. But who cares, let's get to the good stuff... THE GREATEST PROPOSAL EVER. I am beyond in love with Cam & Mitch and their proposal was so beautiful and just absolutely perfect. As always, this show handles the topic of an adult gay relationship flawlessly. I commend the writers on keeping it both realistic and hilarious. I can't wait for the wedding. I'm thinking of dressing up for the occasion! No, just me...alright then. Party poopers.

Law & Order: SVU- Yes, I still watch this. Quit with the judging. The 2 hour season opener was to die for. I cried internally and had some super weird dreams thanks to it. Also, Mariska Hartigay makes my world a better place. 

Nashville- Officially off my DVR rotation. I'm sorry to see it go, but I'm really really bored of it. Don't hate me.

The Mindy Project- I will admit that I did not watch the first season, and yes I am hating myself because of it. I did however catch the first two episodes of the second season and I am in love love love. It's super funny and super easy to just adore. If you're like me and lived under a rock for the first season, it's not too late. Get with it. 

The Big Bang Theory- Still funny and not much has changed but what else can you expect...

Grey's Anatomy- All I can say is that you made me love you again. 

Parenthood- So many emotions. I am in love with Amber and they way her story is turning out. Their whole family dynamic is just wonderful.


That's pretty much all I've seen for now. I can't wait for Scandal which I'm sure will merit a post of its own. If you have any suggestions on what else I should be watching please let me know :) 

6 Months Comfortable

Let me set the scene; We were trying to find somewhere to pee. Two girls + lots of water + one saying she has to pee = HolyFuckFindABathroomNOW. Got the picture? Good, let's move on.

It was at this moment that I realized just how much our relationship has changed since we started dating. Want some examples? 

•  Months 1-4 I was starving. My girlfriend eats like a baby bird. I could eat 6 baby birds and still be hungry. Jk. But seriously, if anyone ever serves me a cornish game hen as an entree I will eat their soul with ketchup on it. The point is, at the beginning of our relationship I ate in super tiny portions and refused any and all snacks because "Lol I'm an internally skinny person and these layers of fat are just for warmth babe!" Now...its more like "Yes, I am going to eat this burger and fries and the rest of our appetizer but I'll skip desert for you though..."

•  Super fucking gross conversations. Like; "oh no yea girls totally poop" and "OMG I'm pretty sure I am dying based on the amount of blood coming out of my uterus" and "I farted *sprays perfume by butt area* just thought I'd warn you". It goes without saying, that is not the most exciting of the changes.

• Bring on the sweatpants people. Actually, my lovely girlfriend has been rocking the "comfy" look since day one but it totally works on her so I never complained. I, however, took great care to wear pretty dresses and perfect make up and holy Christ I didn't iron my hair so please don't look at my face-ness. That last part made no sense but you know what I mean. Now; well as I write this post, my hair is in a bun I am in sweats and a tee with not a smidge of make up on and I'm pretty sure my debit card is still in my bra while she plays Sims on her phone across from me. This, is romance people.

• I hid my addiction. Shopping addiction that is, put down the phone mom I don't need another intervention. I pretty much buy a new outfit weekly. It's my happy time. It makes working 40+ hours bearable. The thing is, GF told me once that she wanted someone who was responsible and in true over-reacter fashion I took that to mean "run and hide your crazy spending habits". It actually wasn't so hard because she didn't actually know how much clothing I owned but eventually I figured that she would start to notice that things always looked new and were rarely repeated so I slowly started interjecting my lunchtime shopping trips into the conversations. She didn't judge me for it and it totally made me feel way better about like, life and shit.

• I curse soooo much. Like, I actively try not to curse on here and still curse a fuckton. My GF rarely curses and when she does it's because she really really means it. Let's just put it this way, when we started talking, I had the flowing pretty vocabulary of a debutante and now it's a little more like Tony Soprano...

• The queen has made her debut. I am super dramatic. Like ugly Kim K. crying, did you just call me fat?, who the fuck are you texting right now? dramatic. I can't help it. I like to think its charming (its not). I used to work really really hard to hide this from her. My poor best friend was/is subjected to far too many irrational arguments that are actually meant for the GF. I've found a way to let out my crazy side without like, scaring her into changing her phone number and moving to a new state. I simply let her know that I fully accept that what I am about to say is batshit crazy and I think she kinda just takes that and let's me be me (I hope). 

• We are calling each other out on our shit. The happy days of "YOU'RE SO PERFECT AND AWESOME AND EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS WONDERFUL!!" are over. Not to say that she isn't wonderful or anything, we're just more realistic now that the pixie dust has started to wear off. Mainly, she tells me when I'm being dramatic (which is often) and I tell her when she's being a jerk/ass (also often). It's cute though.

While I realize that we have a long road ahead and probably way more growing to do, I really like where we are now. It feels real and cozy and accepting. And the sweat pants are way more awesome than trying to keep the damn dresses from hiking up over my ass all the time...

Fun Fact Friday

These actually may not be all that fun...or factual, but I like words that start with the same letter so just go with it...


1. I have a love/hate relationship with my gym membership. Love that I have one and love the 3 days out of the month that I go. Hate that I haven't gone at all this month.

2. I have an irrational fear of breast cancer. Although it is something to be cautious of, I'm almost positive I don't need the self checks every other day. In all fairness, my boobs are awesome and anything that threatens them scares the living Jesus out of me.

3. To continue with the fear theme; I am terrified of frogs and lizards and everyone thinks its a stupid fear but it's not and I will fight with you about it...just ask my girlfriend. I think I may have cried a little.

4. I am a drama queen. Completely unrelated to Fun Fact #3. In that instance, I was right and not dramatic at all (I totally was and apologized for it).

5. If it was possible, I would eat all of my meals out of a bowl with all of the ingredients mixed together with a big spoon (I may have some "Peter Pan" issues to deal with).


That's all for today everyone :)

 

I think I have a BlogCrush...

Would you like to know what I have spent the majority of the past 2 weeks doing? 

Obsessively reading through every post Brittany Gibbons has every written. I'm pretty sure I'm in love...

Sure, she's a married mom of 3 and sure I'm in a (great) committed relationship, but she makes my brain tingle people.  In an effort to pay homage to her I am going to list the top 5 reasons why she currently rules my universe.

5. She is thick and lovin' it! I don't think it will come as a shock to anyone that I have some serious body issues and Brittany has been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Twice. But now she has adapted a new way of loving herself and her curves and she is out there telling big girls to own their bodies. I told you she's awesome!

4. Her kids are models. No, seriously you guys, they are to die for. 

3. Her marriage is inspiring. She's been with Andy since like high school and they're still totally in love but not in like a super gross way or anything. They're just funny and awesome and it gives me hope.

2. She has an amazing sense of style. She's always posting cute style tips for the curvy ladies and her house is super cute and I think I could go shopping in her closet.

1. I want her life. Ok, maybe not her life exactly because that would be weird, but she totally made this amazing career from her blog and she is doing so many cool projects with super cool people and I am just in awe of her.


There you have it. If I haven't convinced you to go read her blog yet, I have failed you... 

6 days and we stopped counting...

So I quit. On day 6 to be more specific. In my defense, I was so sick of the lemonade I was barely drinking half of the daily recommended minimum and that is super dangerous. Even though I was 4 days shy of my goal, I'm still really proud that I stuck it out for as long as I did. I'm even more proud that I didn't binge my little heart out on Sunday. I stuck to juice and soup (and bread, sorry I was hungry and my mom got the good bread). 

That's pretty much it. I'm really happy to taste food again.

I wish I could quit you...

We are in the middle of Day 5 everyone! 

I'm so hungry. Actually, I don't know if I'm hungry or just craving food but whatever it is I want to kill something and eat it (chicken or cow not a person or anything weird like that). 

I am very happy to report that I have not cheated and the worst is over...hopefully.

I've lost 7.4 pounds and it honestly is not as bad as I expected. The food withdrawal is really hard but it comes and goes. I think my biggest complaint would be the random aches and pains, but all the websites say that they are my organs being cleansed so that's gotta be good.

I will admit to you guys that the hunger attacks are pretty intense. They were almost unbearable for the first 3 days but now I'm handling them a lot better. What has worked for me is reminding myself that the moment will pass and if I give in I'll feel really terrible about myself. Also, the fact that since I haven't eaten for 5 days it would be a little stupid of me to stuff my face because my digestive system would probably freak out and explode or something...I don't know.

My skin has cleared up quite a bit but I still have some hormonal breakouts here and there. Oh well, that's life I guess. The best outcome has been all of the rest I'm getting. I usually have a lot of trouble falling asleep and some night I don't sleep at all, but being on the cleanse has taken care of that. I fall asleep within minutes of getting in bed and sleep all the way through to my alarm. It's heavenly. 

I'm hoping to keep going until next Friday and do a Gallbladder Flush on Saturday. Before anyone freaks out, I actually do suffer from a severe amount of gallstones that have caused me to be hospitalized several times so the flush is very necessary for me in order to avoid surgery.

Anyways, that's all for now. Wish me luck :)

Day One

In true procrastinator fashion I started TMC a week later. As you may have guessed by the title, today is my first day. I'll admit that I cheated in a small way, instead of using fresh squeezed lemon juice I bought organic pre-squeezed juice. I'm really hoping that doesn't make too much of a difference bu we'll see...

I'll level with you guys; while I do want to clean my body and reboot my system and all, a big part of this cleanse is because I want to lose weight. Now hear me out, I am not expecting a miracle cure and I am perfectly aware that I will gain back most of what I lose while on the cleanse. My goal is to try to get rid of my junk food cravings and eating fixations (i.e. going out to dinner as a recreational activity). I am hoping that by the elimination of all foods for an extended period of time, I will be able to get myself into the mindset of wanting healthier foods. I know that once I transition back into food again I will have to be really careful not to binge or fall back on my old habits. I do have the benefit of my wonderful best friend Luisa who is willing to take the challenge with me, so at least we'll be hungry together. We'll see how far our willpower can take us...


P.S. In case you're wondering, yes I am starving.

So about that Master Cleanse...

In my defense, it was my birthday and the first long weekend I've had in months. I really do want to try it and I probably will start it sometime this week...

Okay, I'll go buy the stuff today. Just a couple of days late. That won't harm anybody.

Moving on. Let me tell you about my birthday weekend!

Friday (the actual birthday)- All I have to say about Friday is that my girlfriend is phenomenal and my mom has outdone herself. 

-Let's start off with mom; I've been working pretty hard lately to get myself out of debt but it tends to leave me frustrated because I have to scrimp and save so much. The main target of this frustration is the fact that I no longer have a smartphone. Yes I know how shallow and materialistic that sounds and believe me I do kick myself about it. The point is that my mom decided to reward my hard work by getting me a tablet for my birthday. Needless to say, I am in love with it. It is a sick and beautiful obsession. Honestly though, the best part of the gift was getting the sense that my mom does see that I have changed and that she does take notice in how hard I'm working. It definitely gives me a lot of hope for our relationship in the future.

-Now on to the girlfriend; Did I mention she's phenomenal? She came to my job and surprised me with balloons and a tiara and a perfume shaped like a cat! I was in heaven. I totally wore the tiara for like 86% of the rest of the day. Later on that night she took me out to dinner and we had a really nice time and had some really great food. She totally had the intention of getting the waiters to sing to me but because of some mishap that I will not share with the internet, it didn't happen, which was good because I would've felt really awkward I think. We went back to her house where I had even more surprises waiting for me. Her little sister made me a super sweet birthday card and her mom made me a really cute necklace that is like the epitome of everything that I like (thanks again Mel!). The final surprise was an adorable birthday cake she made me along with her sister. They sang me happy birthday and when I went to blow out the candles I realized I had nothing to wish for. I've been blessed with an incredible person who loves me and works hard to make me happy every single day. I am so very thankful for her and I hope she feels like I work hard to make her happy as well.

Saturday- Spent it relaxing at the mall and then at my girlfriend's house. It was really nice and chill. Kinda really wish it was Saturday again but let's not dwell on the past.

Sunday- I slept. Played Sims Freeplay and watched Disney movies on Netflix, then slept some more. It was awesome.

Monday- We finally made it to Key West. Even though it was just a quick day trip and it was sweltering the entire time we were there, it was a very fun day. We toured Hemingway's house and I pet (stalked) a whole bunch of the cats. We walked Duval St and saw lots of cool stuff, like the lady that had a monkey in a baby stroller. I'm not even remotely joking. I also may have stalked her a little bit too... We walked, a lot. We laughed, a lot. By the end of the day we were completely wiped out. We ended our trip with dinner at Cracker Barrel and I fell in love with the food. Definitely will be doing it all again.



I hope your long weekend was fun and eventful as well. I'll post pics as soon as I take the disposable camera to get developed. It's cute and old school okay, don't judge me.

And then they wonder why I'm sprung...

23

Pssst...it's my birthday today. 

That's right. Another year older, still not sure if I'm wiser...

Actually, I think I am. This time last year I was kind of a mess. I was coming off of a long streak of really big fuck ups and my future looked bleak at best. My life is completely different now. I'm still making mistakes but that's just human nature. The difference is, my mistakes aren't quite as catastrophic now and they're made in the hopes of trying to accomplish something positive but failing at it. I've learned there's nothing wrong with that. You can't get it right every single time but you also can't give up.

So that's my motto for this next year of life. I will not give up. Not on myself or on my goals.  I will try my hardest to be more patient with the rate of my life improvement plans. I will appreciate how far I've come instead of feeling defeated by the long road ahead. yes, I'm aware I sound like a self help book right now but it's my birthday and the promise of cake makes me a better person.

A big heartfelt thank you to everyone in my life who is and has been so supportive through this past year. You guys are incredible and I love you all so much it might burst my heart.

Now, about that cake...

To my future children...

  If you’re reading this, then you’ve probably already read the letters that preceded this one. I hope it has helped you to understand why your mother is insane. Now, keep in mind that I am writing this being (almost) 23 so some of this may not exactly be accurate. Nonetheless, I have a feeling of what kind of mother I will be. Your teenage years will suck. You will go no where. You will have no social life. You will (probably) have to take random drug tests for no apparent reasons. You will be forced to endure a lot of “sex talks” and “please don’t get pregnant” lectures. For all of this, I am deeply sorry. The mistakes of my youth will undoubtedly haunt yours.
            Now, there some things you are more than likely feeling towards me that I would like to refute;

1. “My mom doesn’t trust me”- I do trust you (unless you’re a criminal, then I probably don’t’). The problem is that I was a bad teenager and I fucked up A LOT. I made a huge mess of my life and it has taken me a really long time to get to a place where I even feel slightly normal. I don’t want you to go through what I’ve gone through. I want better for you. I want you to take advantage of the opportunities I let slip away. I will demonstrate these wonderful feelings by being an over bearing nightmare. Enjoy. 
2. “My mom over reacts to everything”- Yes, I do. Please refer to #1 for the reasons why. I promise it is all out of love so just shut up and deal with that shit.
3. “My mom is the reason why I’m insecure”- If you have ever felt this about me, then I have failed you. I promise I will try my hardest to, in spite of my crazyness, make you feel loved. Never ever think that you are not good enough because if you are my kid then you are perfect to me.

I honestly wish I could say that I have all the answers and that “mommy knows best” but probably don’t. All I can tell you is that I will always love you and be there for you. I will never give up on you. I will never turn my back on you. I will never make you feel unwanted. I hope I’m a good mom to you. I hope we have a good relationship and we are open with each other. I hope this helps you understand me. You are the reason why I wrote this. You are the reason why I got my life back on track. You are my reason for everything.

Love you more than life,

Mommy

To my big brother, or at least you used to be...

I stole from you. There’s no way around that. I stole $250 from you and bought a shit ton of booze and pills and partied my ass off for two days. You know this because when you made claims about the money my uncle told you I was doing drugs. I was wrong to steal from you. I was wrong to use that money to party. I was wrong, but so were you. See, when my uncle told you how fucked up I was, you were supposed to want to help me. You were supposed to try to save me. You were supposed to try. Instead, you bailed. You cut me off and I still haven’t heard from you.

            You and I were never that close when I was growing up. That was mostly due to our 20 year age difference and the fact that for most of my formative years we had little to no communication. However, for about 2 years before that night we had built a stronger bond. I counted on you. I trusted you. I spent most of my time at your house. I saw you like a brother and a father rolled into one. In fact, it was you who told me to rely on you since our dad couldn’t be there for me.

I fucked up, and you will never know how sorry I am to have lost you. You fucked up, and you will never know how much you hurt me. One day I will go to your house with my head held high and my life put back together. I will hand you $250 and a copy of this letter. I will pay my debt and feel free to tell you exactly how you broke my heart and our bond. After that, I will walk away from you like you did from me.

With love,

Cristi, your youngest sister.


Update: My brother and I have both taken the first steps towards a reconciliation. I'm not sure if things will ever be the way they were before but I am very glad to have him back in my life. 

Master Cleanse

I was browsing through Instagram last night and I saw that a friend from HS was starting The Master Cleanse and it made me curious...

Flash forward to this morning: I've been looking online for tips and reviews and testimonials and so far no one has really said anything negative about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure that no solid food for 10+ days is going to suck so hard I might go on a cow murdering rampage...if I do, cookout at my house y'all!

Back to the original point; My birthday is this Friday and I thought after spending 48 hours eating my weight in frosting TMC would be a great way to clean out all the crap (pun totally intended) that I will undoubtedly ingest. Plus it will be an awesome (yea right) way to start my next year of life. So with all of that in mind, I will begin TMC on Sunday. Since its a long weekend I figure I can spend the first two days of the cleanse at home complaining and missing food in peace.

I'll blog out my progress and take some before/after pics and all that jazz...wish me luck!    

To Sophie, the most beautiful cat ever...

I think it’s kind of silly to write a letter to cat, especially since you can’t read it. I want to write it though because I feel like I need to thank the universe for you. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this but when I first adopted you, I was living out of my car. My mom had kicked me out and I had no where to go. Now, I have no idea why the brilliant idea of getting a pet when I didn’t have a home came up but it did, and I chose you. Thankfully, a few days after I took you my mom let me come back home. At first she was not thrilled about you (she’s not big on pets and our building didn’t allow them). I fought hard to keep you because having you made me happier than I had been in a very long time. You were so small and warm and you loved me so much. I was and am your whole world. Every time I come home you rush to the door and beg for attention. I sleep soundly every night snuggled up with your furry little self.
            I don’t know if you know this, but you’ve saved me on more than one occasion. When I’m at my lowest and I feel myself slipping away you curl up next to me and put your paw on my face. This may seem insignificant but every time you do this I remember that at least one soul in this world needs me. I remember that, even if you’re just a cat, I matter to you. I cry my woes to you. I confess my sins to you. I profess my adoration for you on a daily basis. I might not be here writing these letters if you had never come into my life. I’m thankful for you every single day.

With all the love I can give,


Mommy (the one that puts the food in the bowl)