7.6 Miles and 3 Iguanas

This Saturday my GF had the great idea of walking from her house to the beach...

3.8 miles there and 3.8 miles back.

In case I've ever given anyone the impression that I'm an active/athletic/fit person, I'm not. Like weekly Zumba classes kick my ass...

But, the GF is pretty and I'm a sucker for cute smiles. We walked.

Are you ready to be shocked? 

It wasn't horrible. Don't get me wrong, we live in Miami, it was hotter than the devil's closet (is that a thing? I'm making it a thing) and the air was humid and just really hard to breathe. (read: I'm out of shape and it was hard to breathe) We did have a great time though. We laughed a lot and we had bacon jerky as a snack. It was so good. It was probably the tastiest thing ever. Exercise makes my taste buds have really low standards apparently. 

My only complaint would have to be the wild life.

I am scared of frogs and lizards. This is not a secret to anyone. Iguanas however, are a whole new ball game. They are the spawns of Satan. They look prehistoric and pretty much turn me into a high pitch screaming/whining mess. I don't wish any harm to come to them and I do understand the role they play in the ecosystem. I am well aware that it is not their fault they look that way or that I'm scared of them. Ok, now that Peta doesn't hate me anymore...there were 3 of the ugliest iguanas I have ever seen in my life out and about during our little adventure. The first two were safely tucked away behind the fence of a golf course so it honestly wasn't that bad. We crossed the street and I did some Lamaze breathing and we were on our way. The third iguana, God help me I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth when I saw it. Was it behind a safe fence? Nope. Could I cross the street to escape? Not a fucking chance (6 lane bridge thing). Was it horrible looking? YES. I made the GF stomp around while she laughed at me in order to scare it back into the bushes because it was literally like a foot away from the sidewalk that we were on and omg gag. After the little beast scurried back to the underworld the bush where all the other iguanas were probably hanging out, I walked fast and tense past the area (which was also the up part for the bridge because fuck you Nat, that's why) and the GF tried to hide her laughter. Mind you, this was on the way back to her house and I was hot and in pain and scared and yea, we got in a mini fight...and then two more mini fights, completely unrelated to iguanas. 

But, we made it! 

We lived!

We dined on Chik-fil-A and it was so delicious I almost cried!

When we made it back to he house after dinner we were both super sore and super swore that we would never do that again...

 We're going again next weekend because she's pretty and I have no willpower.