I think we may have all noticed by now that I am not a good blogger. I may be a decent writer when I’m writing in a notebook and I know no one else will read it, but the Publish button seems to render me useless. The fear comes from knowing that the writing I like is the “bloody gross soul bearing” kind, but what if everyone I know reads those things about me.
I started this blog almost
a year ago and I’ve barely posted enough to make for a post a week, but I don’t
give up on it. I think I may be hoping that something will make me snap and
lose my fear of other people’s judgments.
On to my next point;
The reason why I began to
write here was because I was working on a book. You’ll be pleased to know I’ve
completed it. You’ll be a lot less pleased to know I have no plans of trying to
get it published. I realized, the more I worked on it, how much it was just my
way of reconciling with my past and moving on to the next phase of my life. I
also realized it’s not exactly something I want to send out to have it be
rejected. It is my baby. It is the first thing I have ever completed in spite
of myself. So on that note, I will not leave it up to the literary gods to
choose whether or not my story gets out there. I’m going to post the letters in
a series of entries and accept whatever may come of it.
Stay tuned…
If any of you are still
tuned in that is….
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