I still
remember how we met. You were the first person I talked to freshman year. You
spent our entire high school career staring down my shirt. I remember whenever
I’d catch you doing it, you’d just flash me a smile and say it’s “the perks of
being tall”. You were always so
blatantly honest and shamelessly deceitful all in one that I didn’t know if we
were even friends half the time. Regardless of all the stupid arguments and
drama, I always knew you were going to be someone special in my life. Of course
at the time I thought that meant that you were going to be just another guy I
crushed on and got crushed by. Instead I had the revelation to make you more
than that. I wanted you to be a memory I’d smile about for the rest of my life.
Unbeknownst
to you, I decided to give you the most important possession I had. Once again,
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was a virgin and if it’s any consolation, you
were perfect. This is not something a lot of girls get to say. Most, I’ve
found, look back on their first time with regret because it’s tainted with the
heart break that followed. We weren’t in love, hell we weren’t even together,
but I knew it was right. I’d had boyfriends who tried to be the first man on
that particular moon but none ever made it past the launch pad. With you I was
completely relaxed. There was never a doubt in my mind whether or not it should
be with you.
It’s been
almost 5 years since that fateful afternoon, and I still have no regrets. You
were exactly what I needed at the time. You’re still exactly what I need
actually. I miss you like crazy sometimes. It’s not just the sex, which is
great by the way, it’s just you. Being around you makes the day better. You
always have something interesting or funny to say. You’re smart and driven and
just intoxicating fun. I wish I could say that we’ll see each other soon. I
wish I could say that we’ll have another chance to make all those late night
sexting sessions a reality. I wish I knew how your part in my story will
unfold. Unfortunately, the sobering truth is that we may never see each other
again. You live 1,000 miles away and neither one of us is going to make that
pilgrimage just for sex. We say we will, but we both know we won’t. Knowing you
and fucking you has been a thrill ride.
Forever
yours,
Nat (and
more importantly, the first few voyages into my deep space)
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