I love you,
honestly I do. I owe so many fun filled nights to you that I thought why not
pay a little tribute to the magical elixir that is you. I wish I was a poet so
I could write you a wonderful sonnet filled with all the beautiful things I
think of you, but alas, I am not. I hope you are content with this simple
letter. My favorite way to drink you is with Sprite and a lime wedge, although
after a couple of those I honestly don’t care what I’m drinking as long as I’m
drinking. I’ve always said that vodka is a dangerous thing, and it is. See,
with other forms of alcohol you have a phase where you are tipsy and feeling
nice before you get shit faced drunk. With you baby, there is no foreplay. You
go from 0 to 60 before I can even notice (especially in shots). I remember very
clearly going to a club and drinking only two vodka Sprites and before I knew
it I was “allegedly” on my 7th cup and giving my friend a standing
up lap dance (don’t ask). Its nights like these that make me love and hate you.
While I had a blast that night, and
so did my friend, it wasn’t exactly a shining beacon of good girl behavior on
my part. If we were to compare alcohol to people, you’d be the bad boy
boyfriend that you know you should leave but it’s just too damn good. But fuck
it, I’m not exactly known for making good decisions when it comes to love.
Sure, I’ve gone through phases where I was loyal to other liquors. In fact a
very compelling argument can be made to prove that I’m still not over tequila,
but tequila makes me slutty and so our affair has since come to an end. For
now, I am a one drink woman, and baby that drink is you. I’m sure we will have
many more nights of romance, where you will undoubtedly convince me to do dirty
shameful things that I will regret in the morning. I look forward to them.
With love,
Nat (or
whatever fake name I gave the creepy guy watching me give that lap dance)
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