Thursday, August 8, 2013

To my battle buddy...



It has been 11 years since you and I met. I still remember seeing you in the hallways of our middle school. You walked around like you were above it all and just too cool for school. It intrigued me. It was more than just curiosity that led me to you. I’ve always felt a weird magnetic pull towards you. We’ve gone through break ups, drama, fights, career changes, puberty, etc. and yet we manage to always find our way back to each other. Granted, a lot of that had to do with the fact that for the first 6 or 7 years you really wanted to get in my pants, but that’s not the point.
            During the past year our friendship has evolved more than it did during the first 10 combined.  Chalk it up to us living together for about 6 months, or sharing highly confidential information with each other, or just plain dumb luck. Regardless of the reason, I am so glad we did. I’ve told you many times that it’s hard for me to know where I stand with you because you’re not exactly the most expressive of people, but I’ve learned to pick up on your cues. For example, when you give me speeches about how my life is a mess, I know it’s because you honestly care for my well being. Along with bonding with each other, this past year we also bonded with each other’s families and that is something I treasure.
            It’s not easy for me to allow people into my inner circle. For as loud and out there as I am, I rarely trust anyone enough to really let them in. However, you’ve been the exception to that rule since day 1. You make me feel safe, and it’s not just the soldier thing, it’s an Ernesto thing. I slept soundly (most nights), knowing that if by some chance my nightmares became a reality; you were there to protect me. You have taught me so much, including how to parallel park, and for that I am thankful. I’m even willing to share partial custody of Sophie, who has since then become your foster-kitty. I still have all of the pictures of you playing with her and the underwear I bought you, which even I’ll admit is a little weird but whatever (they’re awesome). It brings a smile to my face whenever I look at them because they remind me of all the fun we had together. They also make me incredibly sad because we won’t have fun like that again. You’ve moved on with your life and I’m incredibly proud of the choices you’ve made.
            I’ll admit, you moving to Colorado left me feeling a bit abandoned and I don’t think any amount of daily phone calls will change that. I don’t seem to handle being left behind too well. I know you did it for you. I know you did it for your career. I know it was the best choice. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck either way. We often joke about how I will handle your deployment but the truth is I have no clue how I’m going to get through it. You have become a very vital part of my life and for better or worse, you leaving just plain hurts. I know one thing for sure, from the moment your plane ascends to when the wheels finally touch ground again, I’ll be praying for your safe return.
We are not the same kids we were when we met. You have matured into a strong man whom I am proud to call my friend. We still have a long way to go but there’s no one else I’d rather fight my battles with. By the way, I did not curse once in your letter so I get extra points for that.

Love you (even when I hate you),
Natalia (I still hate that you call me that)

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